Everyone has a desire to be happy, but our happiness often becomes clouded. How? Not by what is going on around us, but by our own thinking about what is going on. Happiness researcher, Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., states “It is a truism that how you think—about yourself, your world, and other people—is more important to your happiness than the objective circumstances of your life.” Finding gratitude, even in times of civil unrest, is one of the most important things you can do on a daily basis to enhance happiness.
Our Circumstances
When I first started to write this article, I intended it mainly as food for thought about happiness, and the role that gratitude plays in determining our happiness level. Over the past few weeks, however, we have all watched social upheaval playing out right at our doorstep. We have seen peaceful protests. We have also seen riots, the burning of buildings and the looting of stores. People are demanding changes, and most of us are giving a lot of thought to these demands. What might that change look like? What will be the impact of these changes? And I have found reason for gratitude. I am grateful that as a nation, we are thinking these things through together.
How We Think About Ourselves, Other People and the World
In today’s world, we realize more than ever before that we are all deeply interconnected and interdependent. Happiness, health and well-being is not achieved by living in isolation, nor do we want to be. But how do we come together in peace? How do we meet the needs of others? How do we get our own needs met?
This is a perfect time for all of us to revisit and, if needed, re-examine and renew the solid foundation that comes from consciously formed values, beliefs and attitudes. A good place to start is from the beginning—choosing the core value from which each of us want our daily words and actions to flow. “First do no harm” is a good example of a core value.
Finding Gratitude During Times of Civil Unrest
As I looked for things for which to be grateful over the last few weeks of civil unrest, I found there are many things. Not for the destructive actions we are witnessing, but for the promise of change, peace and a better life for everyone. We can feel gratitude that many of us are examining what we believe to be true about our world, and how all of us can lead happy, fulfilled lives in this world. We can feel grateful that so many of us are asking, “What do we stand for in our own lives? Are we contributing, even inadvertently, to the reason for another person’s pain?” Do we have subtle predispositions and other ways of thinking that might be harmful to others?” And we can feel gratitude for the opportunity to discuss these things with our children and grandchildren.
Happiness Habit #1: Practicing Gratitude
If you read my April article, Thoughts of Gratitude, you may remember suggestions for ways to incorporate gratitude into your daily lives to enhance happiness. But gratitude is not just important as a happiness producer. Focusing on those things for which we are grateful contributes to the positive mindset we will all will need as we build our future together.
Here are a few ideas from Steve Foran (virtuesforlife.com) for practicing gratitude as we find our way together in these challenging times.
- Look for a hidden opportunity. Even in the most challenging of times, you may find a silver lining—something that can lead to good things, and even be the blessing of a lifetime
- Make gratitude a habit. One of my friends on Facebook noted that gratitude is, indeed, a habit—and it is one that can change your life. Retraining your brain to focus on the things you have to be grateful for, as well as looking for the good even in bad times, can be life changing.
- Stop complaining! It is so easy to complain about everything from the weather to the state of the world. But remember, complaining is the path to negativity. If you take the challenge to stop complaining even for just three or four weeks, you are likely to find that you are living your life from a more grateful perspective. And making more positive contributions as well!
Thank you for joining me as we think together about how we can all find things to be grateful for in these challenging times, and ultimately find happiness together. Perhaps Kathleen Prasad put it best when she said, “We are standing at a tipping point in history. Let’s lean into kindness with courage—and know we will be able to forge a new way forward filled with peace and justice for all.”
I would love to hear your thoughts.
May you be happy, healthy and safe.
Donna