“Happiness is a journey, not a destination.”
~The Buddha
How do I achieve happiness in the world of COVID-19?
Think about how many times you have said to yourself, “I will be so happy when I lose that ten pounds.” “I’ll be so happy when my husband gets his act together.” Or, more recently, “I’ll be so happy when this coronavirus pandemic is over and things are back to normal again.”
If you are among the thousands of people suffering from the “I’ll be happy when—” syndrome, it may be time to consider a new strategy for achieving happiness in the world of COVID-19. This may be the new normal and it might be around for a while.
The Opportunity in the New Normal
Our lives are definitely different. Significant adversity has become a way of life for almost everyone. Adversity provides fertile ground for challenges to our health and our emotional well-being. However, there is a hidden opportunity in this new normal. Many people are demonstrating amazing resilience, strength of character and yes, even happiness during the COVID-19 pandemic. How is this possible in the face of the struggles people are enduring?
The answer is that we don’t have to spiral downward in unwanted negative emotions. We have a choice to move, instead, toward positive emotions and well-being. Whether or not we are happy doesn’t have to be a by-product of what is going on around us. Ancient wisdom traditions such as Buddhism and more recent scientific research in fields such as Positive Psychology share this common belief: Happiness is an achievable goal. This goal can be reached by the deliberate cultivation of certain attitudes and practices which become habits leading to happiness.
The Background
In the late 1990s, Dr. Martin Seligman launched the field of Positive Psychology. One primary happiness finding of this new branch of psychology is that we don’t have to rely on luck or chance. We don’t have to wait until all of our conditions (“I’ll be happy when –”) are fulfilled to be happy. Happiness lies in our own hands!
Why Happiness is Good for You
This is particularly good news for each of us since research has shown that happy people share certain very desirable characteristics. They tend to have better relationships. They are generally healthier due to stronger immune systems.They tend to have better mental health and resilience. And, perhaps most surprisingly, they are found to enjoy greater personal success on every level, including the workplace.
This new science of happiness not only provides academic information on psychological well-being. It also provides us with the some pretty important skills and activities. These become habits of attitude and behavior that enhance well-being, build resilience against depression and anxiety, and help us pursue a meaningful life.
East Meets West
Perhaps most interesting of all to those of us that practice mindfulness and meditation is this: The current research in the field of Positive Psychology and happiness is quickly bridging the gap between modern science and ancient wisdom traditions regarding happiness. We have all seen some of the profound quotes by the Buddha such as the one used in this article stating that “Happiness is a journey, not a destination.” For 2,500 years Buddhists have practiced “training the mind” and developing inner resources for the attainment of happiness. Buddhism also teaches this fundamental principle which is common to other religious traditions as well: There is a strong link between one’s personal happiness and (acts of) kindness, compassion and caring for others.
The Challenge
It’s no surprise that there isn’t a magic pill one can take to attain happiness. There is some effort required. In The Art of Happiness, His Holiness the Dalai Lama observed that “When trying to bring about positive changes within oneself, learning (about what leads to happiness) is only the first step.” He notes that conviction about the harmful effects of what you are trying to change is important. Also, exerting the effort to establish new habit patterns plays a major role in success.
12 Happiness Enhancing Activities You Can Start Practicing Today
In her book, The How of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D. revealed twelve things you can start doing right now to enhance your happiness. With Dr. Lyubomirsky’s permission, I am sharing these activities with you as originally worded by her. In upcoming blog articles, I will provide specific ideas for incorporating each of the twelve activities into your life. We will also take a look at certain of the Buddhist happiness teachings such as mindfulness and meditation that complement these activities. My hope is that you will enjoy the journey on this path to happiness as much as I have.
- Counting your blessings: Expressing gratitude for what you have (either privately – through contemplation or journaling – or to a close other) or conveying your appreciation to one or more individuals whom you’ve never properly thanked.
- Cultivating optimism: Keeping a journal in which you imagine and write about the best possible future for yourself, or practicing to look at the bright side of every situation.
- Avoiding overthinking or social comparison: Using strategies (such as distraction) to cut down on how often you dwell on your problems and compare yourself to others.
- Practicing acts of kindness: Doing good things for others, whether friends or strangers, either directly or anonymously, either spontaneously or planned.
- Nurturing relationships: Picking a relationship in need of strengthening, and investing time and energy in healing, cultivating, affirming, and enjoying it.
- Doing more activities that truly engage you. Increasing the number of experiences at home and work in which you “lose” yourself, which are challenging and absorbing.
- Replaying and savoring life’s joys: Paying close attention, taking delight, and going over life’s momentary pleasures and wonders – through thinking, writing, drawing, or sharing with another,
- Committing to your goals: Picking one, two, or three significant goals that are meaningful to you and devoting time and effort to pursuing them.
- Developing strategies for coping: Practicing ways to endure or surmount a recent stress, hardship, or trauma.
- Learning to forgive: Keeping a journal or writing a letter in which you work on letting go of anger and resentment towards one or more individuals who have hurt or wronged you.
- Practicing religion and spirituality: Becoming more involved in your church, temple, or mosque, or reading and pondering spiritually-themed books.
- Taking care of your body: Engaging in physical activity, meditating, and smiling and laughing.
May you be happy, healthy and safe.
Donna Daisy, Ph.D.