4 Tips for Taking On Life’s Challenges One Day At A Time

“Adversity is one of the most potent forces in life. It shapes your character, clarifies your priorities, and defines your path.”                                                                    

                                                           ~Stephen R. Covey

Whether you are “out there” experiencing life to the fullest (when not sheltering-in-place due to COVID-19), or choosing a quieter path for your life, it is a given that each of us will cope with many challenges throughout our lifetime. Sometimes it is in the form of minor hassles such as having your battery go dead on your cell phone, or finding yourself stuck in a traffic jam. Other problems, however, are more catastrophic and long range, such as the diagnosis of a life threatening or fatal illness in yourself or a loved one. It is this type of setback that provides the greatest challenge, but also the greatest opportunity for stretching yourself to be more than you ever thought you could be.

Here are some strategies for dealing with adversity that have worked well for me in the past and that I would like to share with you:

1. Take one day at a time. A few years ago while facilitating a discussion group on “Aging with Vitality”, I asked what advice each person would give to others who might be coping with difficult life situations. Several participants said, “I would tell them to take things one day at a time.” One particularly inspiring woman who, for 15 years, took care of a husband with a significant illness while also working full time. She put it this way: “As I look back on it, I know that I couldn’t have made it through that journey without a way of life that I internalized from an article I read called Just for Today. I realized that I could do something for twenty-four hours that would appall me if I felt I had to do it for a lifetime. Each day, my approach to life is to get up, get dressed, and participate in life. Surround yourself with friends. Don’t let your mind dwell on the negative.”

When life feels unbearable or unmanageable, people familiar with 12-step programs have long known the importance of implementing the “one day at a time” mindset. What many of us don’t know, however, is how to go about living one day at a time.

A part of the power of the “one day at a time” approach is that we are inclined to feel a greater sense of control when we break a stressful situation down into more manageable segments. The findings of research psychologist, Dr. Suzanne Ouelette-Kobasa, teach us that people who have a sense of control during a crisis suffer fewer damaging effects from stress than those who view their situation as out of their control. (click here)

2. Quiet your mind.  The art of living one day at a time is more easily mastered when we learn to quiet our minds as a way to peaceful living. A quiet mind is healing and rejuvenating, but stilling the mind takes time, patience and practice. It also requires the cultivation of an awareness of your thinking. Negative thinking in particular, can create anxiety, dread and worry, all of which tend to drain your energy and rob you of your peace of mind.

 

3. Learn to meditate. One of the most universally accepted and regularly used technique for quieting the mind is meditation. In only five to ten minutes a day, you can start training your mind to be still and quiet – an experience that provides relaxation and teaches you how to be at peace. There are  many resources for specific mind/body techniques that teach awareness and quieting of the mind that can be quickly learned. One of my favorite online resources is mindful.com. (click here)

 

My personal practice of meditation is pretty simple: I sit in a quiet room, close my eyes, and focus my attention on my breath as I breathe in and out. As thoughts enter my head, I notice them and gently let them go, bringing my attention back to my breath. This practice isn’t difficult or complicated, and I have found that with only a few minutes of this practice each day, I feel calmer, more relaxed and more peaceful.

 

 4. See the problem as a challenge and an opportunity. Each day you have a choice to focus on fearful, negative thinking, or quieting your mind and focusing only on the day at hand. In this way, rather than experiencing crisis events in your life as catastrophes, you can learn to see them as challenges and opportunities for personal growth that allow you to regain control and shape the life you want – one day at a time.

 

What are some things you do each day to make these COVID-19 challenges more manageable? Please share your thoughts in the comments section. After all is said and done, we truly are in this together.

 

May you be happy, healthy and safe.

 

Donna

  

Note: This blog is an adaptation of my 2009 article in eBella magazine, Taking on Life’s Challenges One Day At A Time.