A few years ago, I lost my mother in early December. I was devastated. Despite a few mother-daughter differences, the two of us were very close. I was struggling to work my way through the normal grief that accompanies losing someone you love. It was hard to imagine how I could begin to deal with the holiday season which was already in full swing.
Sadly, this year — the year of the coronavirus pandemic –– an unusually large number of people are experiencing not only loss of loved ones, but their own illness, job loss, and/or financial distress as well. For people who have suffered so much loss, it seems like the whole world is in a festive mood, while all they seem to feel is sadness and loneliness. To make matters worse, many people’s holiday plans to be with friends and family are looking very different than last year due to COVID-19 lock-downs and travel restrictions. The pressure to keep spirits up and a smile on your face during the challenging holidays can make feelings of loneliness and depression seem even worse.
The results can be devastating. If we don’t have any strategies for coping with the holiday blues, grief and sadness can seem to take over our lives.
The Good News
THE GOOD NEWS IS —-–
With some practical tips, you can minimize the stress that often accompanies holidays and enjoy the holiday season more than you thought you would. Here are some helpful tips from Northwestern Medicine (nm.org), Mayo Clinic (mayoclinic.org) and a few of my own favorite strategies.
From Northwestern Medicine:
- Keep your healthy habits. Maintaining healthy habits during the holiday season will be one of your best defenses against stress. This means getting enough sleep, eating well and staying physically active. It also means maintaining what you can of your daily routine like workouts, virtual activities or personal self-care time.
- Take a walk. A winter walk is not only an easy source of exercise, but sunlight offers a feel-good burst of serotonin that can help fight seasonal affective disorder. Furthermore, the rhythm and repetition of walking has a tranquilizing effect, decreasing anxiety and improving sleep.
- Make small adjustments. The holiday season can seem full of big changes, so focus on little things that help you relax. For example, take some time away from your mobile phone. Disconnecting can provide some much-needed separation from the demands of people in your life, your calendar and your to-do-list.
From Mayo Clinic:
- Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died, or you can’t be with loved ones for other reasons, realize that it is normal to feel sadness and grief. It’s OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can’t force yourself to be happy just because it is the holiday season.
- Be realistic. The holiday’s don’t have to be perfect or just like last year. Try sharing pictures through emails and videos. Many families (like mine!) will rely on ZOOM for their Christmas get-together. Thank you, Zoom!
- Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. Many may have websites, online support groups, social media sites or virtual events. They can offer support and companionship.
From Me:
- One of my favorite things during the holiday season is to enjoy “soul-nourishing” conversations. Choose someone that you particularly enjoy, give that person a call and sit down and have a heartfelt conversation. You may find that conversation is one of the greatest gifts of the holiday season.
- Do some special holiday acts of kindness such as purchasing dog or cat food for pets in need, donating food to a food bank, send someone you know a picture of a cute animal, send a motivational text to a friend who is struggling. A great list of acts of kindness during the coronavirus pandemic can be found at https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/coronavirus/acts-kindness-during-coronavirus-outbreak.
My wish for all of you this holiday season is this:
May you be safe.
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you live with peace and ease.
Sending warm virtual holiday hugs your way,
Donna